Well, Its almost 4. That means Mike should be off and heading back to town. Hopefully he'll be home in the next 90 minutes and not have decided to work late! He must not have felt well last night because he only drank a 24-oz and I drank the last 5 beers that were in there. Smoked a joint because I couldn't go to sleep sober. However, the good news is that yesterday I ate grapes, about 3/4 cup of broccoli and cheese and 1/2 a plain baked potato with the skin. Then for dinner, since we don't have any food, I made Mike a bunch of frozen fish sticks and tater tots. I baked myself 1 chicken nugget at the same time, and I got out a tiny plate and put my 1 nugget, 1 tater tot, a drop of BBQ sauce and a drop of ketchup. That was dinner! Today, I've had about 15 grapes, 1/2 a diet coke, and some water. It is the most awesome feeling in the world. I've had NO LUCK fasting since I've been living this lifestyle, but something has changed recently, and I really don't feel the need to eat. I've had brief feelings of a vague hunger, but either ignored them- and they actually went away- or ate a few grapes, and it stopped. That broccoli & cheese potato I made yesterday for lunch- I wasn't even hungry for it, and I actually had to throw most of it away, because I just wasn't hungry. I just like broccoli and cheese, and wanted to eat it, for whatever reason. I made a cake last night, and I didn't even want to try any of it. I still don't.

All I really want is to drink some fucking beer, it is past time! I can't wait until I'm 21. It sucks so bad being underage.. I still have a year and 6 months left of relying on Mike to bring beer home with him from work, and bring enough home that there is some for me to drink the next day until he gets home with more. I've noticed that since I am no longer eating, I have more time to clean the house every day- not just straightening up and doing the dishes and neccessary laundry, but actually sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, the whole she-bang. I have a bunch of candles going in here, a couple in every room, so it is going to smell real nice when Mike gets in. Half the time he doesn't even notice, though. And we tear it up every night. It starts the moment he tracks dirt in coming through the door, throws his shirt in the kitchen, boots in one room or another (but never in their places.), cigarettes, wallet, keys slung on the counter. Then, as we get drunker and the trash can gets too full to shut, beer bottles stop making their way into the garbage, and instead line up on the counter like the dead soldiers that they are, or sit silently on the floor, waiting until the next day to be cleaned up. Cigarette ash misses the ashtray, I make a mess cooking dinner. Ah, the joys of being a housewife.

I am looking really good lately.. got some nice bone definition going on that is new.. the sternum bones above and between my breasts were already barely peeking through, but this morning I noticed some underneath that are new. My tummy is nice and flat, and my pants really require a belt. I wish I didn't have a "poochie belly" though.. it seems like the more weight I lose, the bigger the pooch looks! It just will not go away. I usually do 1400 situps a week. I haven't been doing them for almost 30 days, though, because I've been very sick for almost an entire month, and I know that exercise will only exaccerbate my condition. Other than the last month, though, and my recovery period from plastic surgery in June, I've done situps regularly for about 9 months. Still with the pooch. Grr. And the other weird thing, is that the scale tells me I've actually gained weight. I wonder if I'm retaining water or something, because how can you eat next to nothing for days and gain 3 pounds? Besides, my bones tell me the truth.

Well, Oprah looks pretty interesting today- its about drugs and addiction, so I reckon I'll sign off and tune in. Counting down the minutes until beer o'clock. Come home soon, Mike! With Icehouse 24's!